Sunday, June 17, 2012

The Gospel According to Louie Crew for Father's Day

Knowing that I might not be with Dad when the end came, I said to him – forgive me, lgbtq friends, this is not politically correct; it sounds like apologizing for who I am; I am trying to be honest with you as I try to be honest with God -- “Dad, I know that I have not been the son that you wanted, but I love you very much.”

He was down to 90 pounds He struggled with the side of the hospital bed to sit up, and he would not let me help him. He got eyeball to eyeball and said, “Louie, you have never been more wrong. You are the son that I wanted, and I love you very much.”

I realize that some of you may not have had a father that loved you like that. But let me tell you about my other father, because he's your father too. The God who made heaven and earth made you. You are the daughter God wants. You are the son God wants. Let your pride be in God's absolute love of you.

10 comments:

Turnip Ghost said...

I was born with curvature of the spine and half blind; do you think a merciful god would do this? Why would a good and loving god want a son/daughter like this?
Please don't tell me "God's ways aren't our ways." It's such a cop-out and I've heard it hundreds of times, and about people born without arms and legs and mentally challenged severely.
Either God's not paying very close attention to what God's making or God's got a sick way of showing love.

LouieCrew said...

Thanks for the hard questions.

Bottom line: I don't know the answers.

I agree that a loving God would not do this to you or to anyone else.

I believe that God does not want you to suffer and did not make it happen.

I don't hold God accountable for all that happens in creation. I believe that God is in solidarity with those who seek to reverse pain, accidents....

Why does God not fix the problem? I don't know, and I yell at Her a lot, as the Psalms do too, and as Job did.

I believe that you are God's daughter, that God loves you.

I hope that you are surrounded by persons who know you, love you, and value you.

I hope that medical researchers can find cures.

Louie

LouieCrew said...

Thanks for the hard questions.

Bottom line: I don't know the answers.

I agree that a loving God would not do this to you or to anyone else.

I believe that God does not want you to suffer and did not make it happen.

I don't hold God accountable for all that happens in creation. I believe that God is in solidarity with those who seek to reverse pain, accidents....

Why does God not fix the problem? I don't know, and I yell at Her a lot, as the Psalms do too, and as Job did.

I believe that you are God's daughter, that God loves you.

I hope that you are surrounded by people who know you, love you, and value you.

I hope that medical researchers can find cures.

Louie

Matthew said...

I actually think its okay to say to your father, "you are not the father I wanted" and to have him reply, "you are not the son I wanted either." My father and I had that conversation and what emerged from it was a deeper relationship based on honesty than the forced smile routine we had going from the time I turned 18 until we had that conversation. At the time of my fathers death, we understood each other even if we could not always empathize or fathom each others lives. It was blessed. My father was fearless if nothing else and in the end it beat some other memebers of my family who were too polite to put those cards on the table.

Mark Harris said...

OK ... you got me. Tears and joy and wonder. Damn! ANd me so cool!

LouieCrew said...

Matthew, thanks for sharing that healing conversation!

-- Louie

Turnip Ghost said...

You don't know the answers-but you're sure that I should believe in someone I can't see or hear? And that I have to spend time and money and effort in church (or with religion)?
Really? Why should I run twice as fast to get to the same place of "I don't know"?
No wonder religion is shrinking away so quickly-I can do "I don't know" all by myself. And it doesn't cost anything.

JCF said...

Assuming you're telling the truth for once, TG/Brad, I'm very sorry for your physical suffering.

Perhaps your experience w/ religion is that it "costs something" (i.e., $). I can assure that in the Episcopal Church, that's not the case.

Beyond that, I don't have any more answers than Louie does. I have my own share of suffering---but I'm not alone in it. I have my family and friends, and my faith-family, to share my struggles with.

I hope you find some community to share your pain with. Maybe IN such a community, you can find the answers you're so desparate for.

Just try not to lash out at other people so much, and feel for them (com-passion), too. Diss a catch-phrase (whose?) all you want, but there really IS diversity worth celebrating, here in God's Creation. And you're a part of that.

LouieCrew said...

TG: I would never presume to tell you what you should do or believe. You asked me to tell you what I think, and I spoke only for myself.

Matthew said...

This debate between Louie and TG highlights something that I think glbt people in the church need to pay attention to and reflect upon. I often hear it said that god does not make junk or make mistakes or what have you. It's a way of glbt people claiming who they are and that it is of god, as Ed bacon as said' being gay is a gift from god. But we need to step back when we use that rhetoric because it can come across to other listeners as offensive or that aspects of how they were born are divine and maybe that is not always the case and if so, we need to do more discernment about the distinction between the two. And yet we would not want to go so far as to suggest that if thre were a cure for homosexuality that we would approve but be would approve cures for some things. And so I wish our rhetoric on this issue would change and instead focus on the fact that god approves of who we love because god is love.