So it's early here in Rochester. The jetlag will probably kick in later but I woke up ahead of my 8:30 meeting and decided to wade through the email that came in while I was traveling yesterday. (Yes, we were flight delayed out of Chicago -- isn't everybody?)Anyway, one of them was yet-another note from an LGBT soon-to-be former Episcopalian explaining (rather apologetically) why they "just can't do this anymore" and are looking for a new faith community where "we can love each other and Jesus and just live our lives."
The email concluded, "I'll miss the liturgy but it's just not worth the fight anymore. I don't know how you do it."
Some days, neither to I. Or maybe more to the point, I don't know WHY I do it. Why stay in a church where just being who we are is a source of stress for some and schism for others? Why be part of an institution that seems ontologically incapable of living up to its high calling to BE the Body of Christ in the world and keeps settling for being "the church" instead?
Here is the part of the service from the BCP Ordination of a Priest, where the bishop asks:
My sister, the Church is the family of God, the body of Christ, and the temple of the Holy Spirit. All baptized people are called to make Christ known as Savior and Lord, and to share in the renewing of his world. Now you are called to work as pastor, priest, and teacher, together with your bishop and fellow presbyters, and to take your share in the councils of the Church.
Then there's a recitation of what amounts to the "job description" of a presbyter in the Church of God and which the bishop concludes with this final question:
My sister, do you believe that you are truly called by God and his Church to this priesthood?
And the answer is:
I believe I am so called.
And that's the best I can still do to answer the "how I do it/why I do it" question.
I continue to work within the councils of the church because I believe I am so called. And I believe other people are "otherwise" called. Not all of us are cut out to serve in this particular (some would argue "peculiar") field of the Lord we call the Episcopal Church. But believing I am so called I keep at it. An inch at a time. A meeting at a time. A resolution, a Convention, a communique at a time. Sometimes admittedly it's two inches forward, one inch back and I weary of the struggle.
But the question my bishop asked me was not "Will you enjoy every moment and succeed at every turn?"
He asked me if I believed I was so called.
And I said I was.
And I still do.
So now I'm going to get to work.
Later, alligators!
5 comments:
It wasn't really 4:24 a.m. when I wrote this ... my computer was still on L.A. time .. it was 7:24!
Talk about "early riser!"
As an LGBT fellow who plans on staying in the church (and maybe even becoming a deacon one day), my view is that by leaving all we do is rob the community of our talent. I'm an episcopalian not out of loyalty to a book and some creeds, but because I'm connected to a faith community that sustains me, challenges me, loves me, and forces me to grow.
Perhaps I'm just lucky, but my co-parishioners are a passionate, spiritual, mission-oriented bunch and no pronouncement from England, Africa or New Orleans could ever stop us from the work in which we are engaged.
Lastly, with all due respect to the folks at MCC (and they ARE due a great deal), I'm not personally interested in worshipping solely with LGBT persons and their supporters. I like the ritual and traditions of my faith, even if we do have a long way to go before we are as inclusive as we need to be.
And yes, Susan, I believe you are called!!
-J
As for me, I decided a long time ago, pre-ordination, that I was meant to work from within rather than from without. So I stay....
Thanks again for the reference to my bishop's letter. I have to laugh because the photo you used was taken at a double-ordination in my parish last November (the first ever to take place there).
Thanks ... I just Googled him and cut his mitered self from out between the two happy ordinands ... the marvels of modern technology!
Sorry I didn't get to this earlier, but you asked me to look at it and I wanted to think a bit.
You feel called to do the work you are doing. Fine. Truly. If someone has no inspiration to do what they do, if they only do it out of a sense of duty or a need to make money or whatever, it's an empty existence.
But people feel a call to do lots of things. Some of them great, some of them mundane, and frankly some of them quite horrible. Is there any other standard to use besides a call to measure the need and worth of what you do? Is there, in fact, anything else that people should combine with that before taking a course of action?
Post a Comment