Do you want to
be healed?
Jesus
saw the man –
the
man who had been ill for thirty eight years –
lying
by the pool just out of reach of the healing waters.
And
the question he asked was
“Do
you want to be healed?”
It
might seem like a crazy question
to
ask someone who has lying there
for
what John tells us was “a long time”
paralyzed.
By
the side of the pool.
Just
out of reach of the waters
he
believed could heal him.
Without
a plan. And without hope.
And
yet Jesus asks him:
“Do
you want to be healed?”
And
maybe it’s not such a crazy question at all.
Because,
you see,
being
healed can change everything
and
change – even change for the better –
even
change we’ve been longing for
praying
for
waiting
for
comes
with a price tag.
The
question then becomes,
Are
we willing to pay the cost?
Are
we willing to do what it takes?
And
sometimes the answer is no,
thanks
anyway.
I
think I’ll just stay here where I am –
as
bad as it is – because at least I know what to expect –
and
I’m just not willing
to
take the risk that change brings.
And
that is why I think this story
is
about something bigger than the literal story
of
physical illness –
of
a paralyzed man by a pool.
I
think it is also about paralysis in a wider sense –
about
what happens when we are
paralyzed
by grief,
paralyzed
by doubt or indecision,
paralyzed
by anxiety.
Like
that man beside the Beth-zatha pool,
we
can feel completely immobilized.
Like
him, we can feel alone in the crowd,
utterly
without either inner or outer resources –
with
no one to help.
We
don’t have to look further
than
the latest headlines
to
be reminded that we live in stressful,
even
scary times,
and
that the world around us is unpredictable.
From
the Boston Marathon bombing
to
the Texas fertilizer plant explosion
to
the ongoing warfare in Syria.
Violence
in our schools and in our streets,
continued
efforts to restrict health care for women
and
a Congress
that
seems to have collective amnesia
about
the fact they were elected to protect and defend the Constitution –
not
the gun lobby.
In
the face of all that there is to be paralyzed about,
how
do we stay connected
with
our deep inner resources of creative energy, wisdom, and hope?
What
do we do when we feel alone and paralyzed by the side of the pool,
cut
off from the healing and wholeness
that
seem so impossibly far away?
But
back to the Gospel story.
“When
Jesus saw [the man] lying there
and
knew that he had been there a long time,
he
said to him,
'Do
you want to be healed?'”
The
first step in the healing miracle was this:
Jesus
drew near and he “saw” the man
and
he “knew” him.
As
John's Gospel underscores again and again,
when
Jesus sees and knows us,
he
sees and knows us through and through,
more
widely and deeply than we know ourselves.
He
looks deeply into us with eyes of love,
with
eyes that see the whole truth of who we are,
eyes
that perceive everything in us,
everything
about us,
with
loving kindness and compassion.
That
is the first step in today's healing miracle:
Jesus
draws near; he sees and knows.
The
other step in healing is his question,
“Do
you want to be healed?”
It
is not just a rhetorical question …
the
question invites the man beside the pool –
and
invites us, as well –
to
explore our desires,
to
examine what we want and why.
Do
I really want to be made well?
Well
– if I’m honest -- yes and no.
Too
often a part of me likes to play the role of victim,
to
blame the other person for wounding or offending me,
or
for keeping me stuck.
Some
part of me likes to complain and to look for excuses,
to
note the ways my parents have done me wrong
or
my colleague has let me down
or
the Anglican Communion has failed me (again)
or
I deserve better or it's not my fault …
and
so here I am,
stuck
forever on the very edge of healing,
with
healing so close,
but
never quite making the move.
And
still Jesus asks:
“Do
you want to be healed?”
You
might say that question comes with a shovel.
It
is a question that calls us to dig down deep
into
our motives and desires to discover
what
we really want.
When
we have sifted out and sorted through
all
our lesser wants,
what
we may discover is
that
deep down we want to be fully alive.
Deep
down we want to love and to be loved,
and
to draw close to the holy Source of love.
Deep
down we want our lives
to
be about something much larger than ourselves
and
our endless striving and self-promotion.
We
want our lives to be full of light,
and
to be a blessing to other people.
Knowing
that is like having our spiritual GPS
connected to the satellite of God’s love and
justice and compassion –
guiding
our steps … moment to moment,
in
everything we do, in every situation we encounter.
And
then we can then ask ourselves:
How
do I meet this situation in a way
that
is in alignment with my deepest desire
and
my highest purpose?
What
can I say in this moment,
what
can I do in this moment
that
will let the love of God be more fully expressed?
And
the more completely our lives are aligned
with
that deepest motive,
the
more inner peace and stability we will feel,
no
matter what our outer circumstances may be.
And
the more healed and whole we become.
When
it comes to healing,
Jesus
does not appear out of nowhere,
waving
a magic wand.
What
Jesus asks is more demanding than that,
and
more costly,
for
he calls us to do the work of becoming conscious,
of
becoming as self-aware as we can,
so
that in every interaction and decision and thought,
we
are tuned in to our motives,
to
what we most deeply want.
As
for the man beside the pool –
the
one who had been ill for thirty eight years?
Notice
that he did not need to climb
into
the Beth-zatha pool in order to be healed.
The
healing spring – it turned out –
was
not beside him but inside him –
just
as it is inside us.
As
Jesus told the woman at the well
in
the chapter right before this one in John’s Gospel,
Jesus
gives us water
that
will become in us a
“spring
of water gushing up to eternal life”
So
even in the most troubled times –
times
of grief and loss, of pain and paralysis –
we
have everything we need.
The
healing pool is within us;
the
spring of healing is already rising up.
All
we need, when we feel paralyzed and alone,
is
to turn to the One who knows and loves us
through
and through,
and
to listen to the question that he is asking,
“Do
you want to be healed?”
Because
even when we’re not sure what our answer is,
we
know what God’s answer is.
God
never promised
that
our lives would be free
from
struggle, pain, or tragedy.
Instead,
God –
the
God who is present in the roses AND in the thorns –
promises
us that nothing – absolutely nothing –
will
ever separate us from the love of the God.
And
that, my brothers and sisters,
is
the promise that is worth
whatever
the cost of the change that changes everything –
the
change of saying “yes” to God –
“yes”
to love -- and “yes” to the life abundant
God
dreams for each and every one of us. Amen.
====
Thanks
to Rev. Margaret Bullitt-Jonas, Grace Church, Amherst, MA for some of the
images in this homily.
http:/
/www.holyhunger.com/sermons/message20100509.php