Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Coming Out from the Diverse Center

Ten years ago today at noon eastern time I was in the choir at the National Cathedral. While crowds of tourists milled about the nave of the cathedral and others gathered outside or headed toward the Mall for the fireworks festivities scheduled later it the day or lined up to see the opening-that-day film “Independence Day” (remember that one?) a remnant of us gathered in the cathedral choir for a festival celebration of the Feast of American Independence, BCP style.

The music was glorious, the lessons inspiring and the privilege of receiving Holy Communion at the altar in this amazing “house of prayer for all people” as we celebrated the birth of a nation dedicated to “liberty and justice for all” was an amazing gift I will always remember.

Oh … and I came out.

In the cathedral. On the Fourth of July. In the middle of festival Eucharist I had the great “aha” moment – the epiphany – the “I-shoulda-had-a-V8” realization that the God who had “fearfully and wonderfully” made me had made me gay. And called me to priesthood. And told me “now, go back and be the priest I called you to be.”

That’s my coming out story. I’ve told it many times before but on this actual, honest-to-God 10th anniversary it seemed worth telling again. It seemed worth reminding myself – and anybody else who wants to listen in – that I did not come out from the fringes of anything – I came out from what one might call “the diverse center.” I came out in the context of a spiritual journey that began with my baptism at St. Paul’s Cathedral in Los Angeles in 1954 (go ahead and do the math!) and continued through Junior Choir, confirmation class, Altar Guilds and Vacation Bible Schools, ECW Boards, teas and luncheons, Diocesan Conventions, vestries and parish day school boards and finally seminary, ordination and parish ministry.

My coming out had nothing to do with a political act. It had nothing to do with a genital act. It had everything to do with the act of presenting myself, my soul and body, to be a “reasonable, holy and living sacrifice” unto the God who created me in love and called me to love others as God loved me. It had to do with recognizing that I could not be fully present at altar if I was not fully present in myself – and it had to do with being raised in a church where +John Hines taught me that “justice is the corporate face of God’s love,” +Ed Browning told me that in the Episcopal Church there would be no outcasts and the consecration of +Barbara Harris incarnated for me the hope that this church was actually willing to live into its high calling to live out a radically inclusive gospel.

So Happy Anniversary to me – and to the scores of LGBT Episcopalians like me. We are not a fringe issue – we are part of this church – part of that diverse center Presiding Bishop Griswold called us in Columbus to listen to. Are we a challenge to the wider church? I hope so. And I hope we continue to be. I hope that our voices of faith and witness will continue to preach, to protest and to prophesy – that we will stand in the temple and tell the Good News of God in Christ Jesus made present in our lives, our vocations and our relationships. That we will preach that Good News in and out of season and that we will challenge this recent lapse in moral leadership by the 75th General Convention of the Episcopal Church for what it is: a failure of this church we love to live up to all we know she can be.

So here's to Anniversaries and to Independence Day -- to everyone celebrating with BBQ, beer and fireworks our core American values of liberty and justice for all and everyone committed to our core Episcopal values of respecting the dignity of every human being. Not because we’re politically correct but because we’re gospel obedient. And here's to the diverse center -- long may it wave and long may it MAKE waves as it continues to live into the promise it inherits from Hines and Browning and Harris; from Washington and Jefferson and Madison.

Lord God Almighty, in whose Name the founders of this country won liberty for themselves for us, and lit the torch of freedom for nations then unborn; Grant that we and all the people of this land may have grace to maintain our liberties in righteousness and peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen


Anonymous said...

Preach on, Sister!

Anonymous said...

Such a beautiful story for the 4th of July. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Susan! Just what we need to hear. I don't think it makes much sense to be a gay or lesbian priest in this church and not be a prophetic voice and witness. You certainly incarnate that. And a great coming out story to boot. Happy 4th to you too.

Fr Timothy Matkin said...

I'm not sure I follow how you "came out" in the middle of the worship service? Does that mean you blurted out a statement in the echoing wall of the cathedral? Or that you whispered it to someone next to you? Or that you simply acknowledged it to yourself for the first time?

Please elaborate.



"In the middle of festival Eucharist I had the great “aha” moment – the epiphany – the “I-shoulda-had-a-V8” realization that the God who had “fearfully and wonderfully” made me had made me gay. And called me to priesthood. And told me “now, go back and be the priest I called you to be.”

I think that about covers it ... thanks for asking.

Anonymous said...

Would that be the diverse middle that caved, built a bridge on the backs of gays and lesbians (as apparently discrete categories of beings ontologically), that preferrred crumpets, tea, and Lambeth invitations? Or the diverse middle that is too small to stay the onslaught of the logical hedonism of protestant liberalism run amok?

I get so confused with the arbitrary shifts of designation! It seems emotive rather than rational, sensate rather than cognate, and definitely political rather than spiritual.

Milton said...

Rev. Susan, and anyone else who cares to comment, Rev. Leander Harding has posted on his blog a summary of what he sees as the theology of those on what most would call the "left" of TEC. The link is below:


I'm interested, as is he, in what you think, does he understand you correctly?

RudigerVT said...

Milton, for whatever it's worth, no, Harding's list is pretty worthless, in terms of understanding where I'm coming from (gay man, active in the ECUSA, PhD in psychology and post-doc work in behavior genetics). I knew I was in trouble when it started with an attempt to get off on a 'nature/nurture' debate on the question of sexual responsiveness.

I saw nothing particularly new, noteworthy, or insightful. It's a rehash of hash, and just ever more noise bouncing around the right-wing echo chamber. Getting dragged into such discussions is a waste of time, largely because the opening salvo bears the pretense of novelty. It's not new. It's up to Harding et al. to do the homework, although that exercise would show forth that, actually, he was saying nothing new.

As a bit of self-expression, I guess it's okay. But as a meaningful contribution to the dialogue, no, I just don't think it is. That's why it doesn't bear inclusion in the conversation.

But that's just me.



for milton ... no

i commend to your reading not those presuming to speak for us but the places where we've spoken for ourselves ... starting with the Claiming the Blessing Theology Statement avaiable online at http://claimingtheblessing.org

Catherine said...

per senor bozo, I say, Amen!, Preach it too!

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful opportunity you had, as you said in your homily, to “tell the Good News of God in Christ Jesus,” and all you did was talk about yourself (again).

I – 14 times
me – 12
my – 4
myself – 3

God – 8 times
Lord – 2
Jesus – 2
Christ – 2

Thank goodness you included the prayer at the end, otherwise the count would have dropped to:
God – 6 times
Lord – 0
Jesus – 1
Christ – 1

How is it possible to “tell the Good News of God in Christ Jesus,” when you mention Him ONE time in your homily and yourself a whopping 33 times!

How self-absorbed can you possibly get?


for "another susan" ... ummm ... it wasnt' a homily ... it was a blog ... and since it WAS my "coming out story" it pretty much WAS about me.